Category: Singles Spit Swap
Hey! this is stephen from tennessee, I am just looking for some one that is really nice to meet! I am a really nice guy, I like most kinds of music, But I like mostly country! But I like classic country, And 90s hit music! I sing, play guitar, Ad play base Guitar! I am looking for someone between the ages of 25 and 30, And that is easy to get along with. I like to talk o the phone, And hang out online as well! But I am looking for someone that is down to eirth, But I will say this, I don't beleive in sex untel after merrege! I am 30 years old, But being single, And 30 can get kind of lonely. am not a drawma person, I just beleive in good conforsation! I don't drink or smoke, But the cashel drink is fine! I am also not a party type guy, And hanging out in big crowds can be kind of hard for me! So if anyone is enterested in getting to no me, please feel free to replye! Stephen
Hey very interesting view! I am exactly the same kind of person! You say what you feel. Keep posting on here Steven you are truthful and caring. The world needs more guys like you in it.
cool! thanks! I just hope there is sme one out there for me.
There is. Don't look for her. Your ture princess will come to you. And she will take all your dreams and make them all come true! :) Don't give up hope!
Yeah, I totally agree with Beach girl! I also have the same views as you do..Just keep the faith!! I don't know what your beliefs are however just pray to God ask for a wife and if it is God's will he will help you find someone. I know how you feel Steven..Good luck!!
Hey thanks! I've asked god to help me, But he hasn't told me anything yet. And It kind of makes me sad sometimes, because that hasn't happend yet, But I will have to say I like it that you and beech girl aggree with me! I just don't know whye theres not more people like that out there?
And another thing is allot of people don't want to be aroundme, And it seems like I have to be someone I am not! And for some reason My famiy doesn't understand me either. When I try to explain something to them, if It's about my needs, They just blow me off! Now Of corse they wouldn't admit this, But they do. And i really gets me down. Afew years ago, at a college church groop, A girl basicly told me that I wasn't on her level, and that I didn't know how to add 2+2, And I never talked to her again. And beechgirl, I hope I can find someone like you one of these days! because You lift me up, And Just by the way you talk to me, It makes me feel good! I know it will take time, But I just god would tell me what I need to do to change, or he needs to tell me, Hey stephen, I found someone for you! But thetruth about my family, is there never going to get me, at all, because all they think is about them selfs, or if it's about me, it's always the music, and all My mom can say, Is I just hope your happy.
Hmm... I have a question for ya!, how are you going to find someone if your mnot dating? I am not the most religious person by any! stretch of the amagination but still getting your face out there and dating will give you a good idea of what type of person your looking fore. I used to have this thinking and you know what!! so many ladies passed me by because I did not get off my butt and let them know I exist. In closing, God is not just going to drop someone in your lap when you least expect it, if you think this your in for a rude awaking.
Yah! I no what you mean! But so menny people told me to just wait, But I'm thinking, thats not the case!
HI steven, all the best. someone. is out. there. keep on looking. for her. hugs.
I hope it. all works. out. 4 you! steven.
Hopefully! But I don't see it down here in the south.
I agree with starfly. Your never going to find anyone by whaiting. You have to get out there and talk and hang out with people. Make friends, and see where it goes from there.
I mean, i hope it works out for you, but you have to try my friend. Don't ever give up.
sorry if this sounds really rood, because i don't mean it to be.
It sounds to me. Like you are wanting a pitty-party.
I have to agree. God's not going to drop someone on you. If you go to church aren't there some people or groups you could get in to to meet that, um, nice girl?
The last time you wanted a drink of water what did you have to do? Smile.
That's why I'd be getting out of a church where they only wanted guys to mingle with other guys. You'll never find anything that way, (unless you suddenly become a bit bi curious.) Of course, the church would be horrified at the idea that they actually encouraged such a thing, but it is what it is.
I believe there are gay churches now. I should look that up. I only asked about church since he said he was looking for that sort of girl, so I assumed he attended someplace.
Now if he were to stumble in to his neighborhood bar?...
Maybe I'm confused, but I thought he was on another board, talking about how he was dissatisfied with his church because of the singles groups. They were just for all the single men to hang out. They said it wasn't for dating purposes. If I've got the wrong person, just disregard.
Ah, look at his other board, single clcks in church.
You'll understand then.
I know him personally; pity party is correct.
I'm not trying to bash anyone. But, i mean come on. your not going to find anyone if u don't try.
If your family doesn't like being around you, doesn't that tell you something about yourself?
Wake up and smell the cauffy.
Today is 2011 not 1850, where people do thing for you!
and that is all i have to say.
Sorry if I am coming off rood, but i can't stand people like that.
have a good day and a nice weeken!!!
cauffy?
Yes I did see that board, but assumed that was just a group he was attending not his regular church.
Now speaking of coffee a coffee shop or book store you go to offten is a great place to meet. However, you'd have to get friendly with the staff so that others would except you that come offten, or so they could tell you or direct singles your way. Its hard for a blind person to hook up this way, but possible. Maybe join the NFB or ACB group in your state?
You know I just thought of something that might help. How about googling Christian dating sites? Sure its going to cost you some money, but if you can't get about easy you're computer will bring possibles to you. Work up your profile just like here, but say more about what you'd like.
Have someone take you to a picture place that will put your photo on a CD or flash drive and you'll be able to load it on your box and upload it. Use FireFox, because you'll have to solve these security things to join.
just a moment...., I've actually talked to him and heard his stories. it's not that he doesn't want to get out there and want a pity party, he really wants to do things for himself but has no means to, and so you can't respect that? It's not his fault that he's held back and didn't go to college, that the blind school screwed his education up. and he doesn't get along with his family because they are idiots. who don't understand him. now are you really wanting to pick on him?
And another thing happyheart, You need to keep your mouth shut sometimes, because I recall, When we were at Louisiana center for the blind, I'm sure there were some people that talked about you as well! Now lets see, When you get in a bind, Lits see if you go through some of what i did, And Lets see how you like it.
i'm not trying to pick on anyone. I'm just saying, make friends. you can't say anyone can't do that on their own.
i was just making a statement..i was in that say place before, but i got out of it by moving, to a place i could do things on my own.
that is all i was saying.
the thing is, Steven, I didn't let anyone's words effect me. if you wanna get anywhere in life, you've gotta be true to self and not give a damn what others have to say about how you choose to live.
it's unfortunate you don't have supportive family, but there are others in similar situations. again, you have to grab life by the balls, and not let stuff upset you/determine your self worth. only you can do that.
what if he doesn't have the means and ability to make friends? what if no one wants to talk to him or want anything to do with him? what if they are not interested in talking to him no one there. The only people who will help him are his parents and they still want to make this 30 year old guy do what they want him to do? what if he lives in a place that is not interested in that kind of friendship?
I have changed my position a little bit by talking to him yesterday, however, we've been dealing with the past mostly trying to smooth out any bumps there, occasionally coming back to the present and talking about that, I have made a few offers dealing with what he may be able to do in terms of a plan moving forward, and it's true that he's not taking them very seriously. I've said he's not stupid so he could learn skills to get up to the point where he can take ged classes and pass that and then get a college degree of some sort. I've offered that to him but he's not receptive to that..... then the problem emerged yesterday, he hung up on me, we were discussing his housing according to what I've seen him and you guys talk about. he's always claimed that he was in Nashville like in the big city, and so I thought hey maybe the city is just not well done and that he doesn't have transportation. then yesterday when I specifically confronted him about his location and how city like it was he admitted to me that he was outside of the big city kind of in the country I mean there's no restaurants and stuff around him and I was like then move, you need to move in the city. I don't know what he's so afraid of that his parents won't let him, he has no means to, or he just doesn't have the courage to proceed. I am starting to think the latter as he gave me no explanation just hung up on me.
I mean, maybe the big city will help him, but I couldn't even make that suggestion, he cut me off, I am trying to help, but when it comes to big steps he doesn't want to act. Reminds me of my other friend Luz. she was very similar, didn't want to move forward either, me and a friend tried but she wouldn't budge, and I mean this girl was in a big enough city. I want to help him but I think maybe he's got the wrong ideas. His move would be to move out of state completely he's stated that to me very firmly and he doesn't just want to make friends, his first target is to make love and, I think these are maybe steps too big for anyone, and he's no exception.
Rachael, I don't think anyone is picking on him. I think they were just stating opinions.
You can know all about a person's status, so all you have to go on is what you read as they post it. If Ipost I am trying to do A or B people are going to say how about trying this or that. Its not picking and he's gotten some good advice.
Now the thing about advice is that the person receiving it has the choice to try it or disregard it. Maybe you can help him out? Smile.
Rachael, in all honesty, you can't help those who refuse to help themselves. you've tried, and the fact he isn't receptive shows where his head is.
bottom line: if a person wants to make changes for the better, they'll find ways to do so. he's 30 years old; it's high time he speak up, and take control of his life. I had to learn to do that, and he'll have to do the same (or not). either way, he has to live with whatever decision he makes
I'm in Nashville, in a highrise, on a major bussline. I have McDonalds, wendys, Hog Heaven and a pizza place that I can walk to. Also within walking distance is a grocery store, at least 2 banks, Electronic Express and Walgreens. we do have paratransit. The rent is income based.
Unfortunately, some people think that if they just find a lover, all their problems will be solved, but if you're not happy with your own situation, why would you want to bring a lover in to your misery? Think about it. What are you offering? If you can't take care of yourself, how will you take care of a girlfriend? Just thoughts to ponder.
you have a point....., I mean hanging up on me goes to show how far he's willing to grow and it's the way some of you were saying it, I guess. and well, he was saying how people weren't offering suggestions and stuff just brushing him off and so I reached out and I gave him some and now I think he's refusing to talk to me. which is kinda of funny.
Hi Rachel. Just because he hung up on you it does not mean that he's unwilling to grow or make significant changes in his life. This is not his fault at all! I'm 32 years old and I understand what he's going through. His family hasn't understood him or what he's going through. He feels that there was a reason as to why he was put into Special Education classes and his family's not telling him why. All of you need to try a little empathy and putting yourselves in his shoes for a while and showing some compassion! So before you assume or spout your mouths off think about it!
no he doesn't. He has been telling me that the system ruined him and that he can't learn anymore, and that his parents didn't think him retarded but it seemed they didn't take him out, but he doesn't think he should be there but he thinks it's too late to do anything or to act. and, catholic I do care and feel for him just trying to help him solve problems. Just that now he's blatanly ignoring me.
but maybe, I see, something, yeah....., maybe he doesn't believe in himself or something. hmmmm...... that's a lead to something.....
and to steven, I couldn't post this on your wall, so I am putting this here so this message can get to you.
look, I am sorry about that night, perhaps I was too fast too far but I meant well and no, I am not trying to excuse myself from fault. Maybe I shouldnt have been so firm and shouldn't have emphasized the suggestion so much. Maybe a better tactic was to question and make you think but I hope you can forgive me for however I offended you, I still have no idea how you feel, I don't read minds, but I do know you were offended and the point was taken, but I don't mind disagreements, please I would really loved if you said something instead of just ending the call. I'll bring a few questions up and I am hoping you'd be up for talking this weekend, I still care very deepely and is quite concerned. I want someone to be able to help you and be willing and I am, I just need you to help me out a little by being expressive about why you disagree. I don’t want you to just hang in the balance and suffer all your life, or do you? Do you want to hammer it out and live a better life? I was starting to be able to solve your problem by telling you a bigger city was a better idea and you hung up to fast. I wasn’t sure how to feel. And we were getting closer to the problem too.
However, stephen, you are the only one who could be you and take care of you. You can't leave that up for others? or do you disagree? We can only try so much, well, me, and I can't help you on everything even if I was sitting right beside you, I am not stephen nor do I live stephen's life. and sometimes you have to accept that people don't always agree with you, and if someone has said something you don't agree with your best bet is to voice that, so we know and may be able to hammer issues out! Also, accept that you may be sometimes wrong and accept life as it was. you hung up way to fast I was going to explain why you needed to "move!!!!!" there was a reason for my emphasis. If you have a judgement problem accept that and don't just blame it on your emotions. Also, don’t try to blame issues as unhelppable, and requires others to do all the work. I am hear to help you solve problems not to make you do things you don't want, but you also got to help me in putting something in the pot because it’s not Rach’s life it’s yours. I can’t decide everything for you, because I don’t know best the only person who does is you. You can choose to be happy or not and to live a life you’re proud of or one that’s shameful to you and at that point why live? Stephen, I am not suggesting you die or not live I am suggesting that you go out and make life work and possible and be happy! The first step is to create change and if you cut me off when we finally touched on the true issues isn’t the right thing to do. You hurt me, and ultimately you. I really cared and wanted to help and I still firmly believe that we were pretty close to the true obstacle if not right on target too. If you would just talk to me maybe we will be able to get you on the ground running!
Look I care and am concerned and hope you might be able to move on and stop ignoring me. It’s the simple truth, if you want to live life you need to try and you need to find solutions and solve problems. If you don’t like problems discover why and express yourself, and be opened to what others have to say too.
Look, I’ve tried everything, I don’t’ know what else to do to help you but help you figure out your problems and run with them.
And as I've already said, you're looking for a girlfriend, but you're totally miserable and unhappy. What do you have to offer. Why would any girl want that? If you're unhappy, do something about it. we all know about limitations. Being both blind, and for all intents and purposes, deaf, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to have any independence at all unless I lived in a place where I could walk to things, and where I had good transporrtation. Sure, I could have made better decisions. Sure, others who are even worse off than I have gotten much further than I have, but I take responsibility for my life. It's no one else's fault.
So think it through. Are you just wanting to find a girl that you can drag in to your own misery? If so, how do you feel about that?
Beautiful Rachael. Smile.
the thing is, Stephen has been through a training center. everyone there (staff and students alike) encouraged him, showed him ways of making his life easier, and he didn't take much from it. so, he only has himself to blame for things being the way they are.
while I agree wholeheartedly with your last posts, Rachael and Anthony, people who clearly don't wanna help themselves won't see what was said for what it is.
Sadly, it seems that with so many sheltered people, no matter what age, everyone believes the same thing. I'll never be good enough on my own; without a lover, or without Mommy and Daddy holding my hand every step of the way. it's not your fault you feel this way. No matter what the intentions, it's your parents, not you, who have this opinion. and of course, if that's all you've ever known, why would you think anything different? However, I don't care how sheltered, how old, from what city or country, how many friends you have, you are capable of getting out there and making something of yourself. don't let anyone stop you, and don't wait for a lover to come and take you from your parents. It will take work, and a lot of it, for sure, and yes, there are going to be times along the way when you're going to feel like nobody sees eye to eye with you, but as long as you feel right about whatever it is you're trying to do, that's enough. Now, having said that, it's very nice to have a special someone to give you that little push, but like others have said, that person is not just going to appear on your doorstep, and you're more likely to find him/her if you're not sitting there. people really like confidence, believe it or not. it's attractive.
guys, stop humiliating the guy on a public forum; that's low.
when you post anything on a public forum, you're bound to get all sorts of responses. if you can't take the heat, stay the hell out of the kitchen. or, read things where people sugarcote what's written.
Most of us have had to battle our way out of one situation or another, so are you saying that we should only give him pitty and tell him what he wants to hear? Do you really think that's going to help him? If he keeps doing what he's always done, he'll keep getting what he's always gotten. If he's happy with his results, then by all means, he should cary on. It really doesn't effect me either way. I simply tried to give the guy some food for thought.
no of course not Anthony, but talking about someone as you've been doing is not on; just don't say anything if you can't be nice. It's clear that you guys are just loving feeling powerful by putting him down and that's so sad.
I just think if you had any decency you would just stop with the humiliating already; that is all.
I personally can't see how any post here has been mean? All the posters are blind and have most of the same issues. They all have to do something to help themselves, so incurraging is mean?
I know a guy that was with his mom until that exactly happened. He got hooked up with a lady, stayed with her about a year and decided mom was better. Now I wonder about that, but there you go.
Okay, Rdfreak. sorry. If the guy asks for other advice, such as his posting about singles in his church, I'll assume that giving helpful advice is being mean, so I won't say anything. Do you honestly believe that a good friend should only tell you what you want to hear? If that's the case, you're fake. Ah well...
and this is the problem. if we're not throwing a pity party, we're being mean. Please tell me how saying things like, Aww. You'll find someone. You're doing the right thing", is helping him. Now, if you want to talk putting someone down, we can go there, but I actually want to help the guy out. He hasn't done anything to deserve destructive criticism. apparently, you're not seeing the fine line between constructive, and destructive criticism. Everyone I've seen here has been putting forth the former. I'm sorry if you don't agree.
This whole situation is sad..I've had to fight my whole life to not be sheltered..to get out of bad situations (and i've been in a few), but I've done it and I know Steven can to. You can do anything if you put your mind to it!